Narcissists: 14 red flags your being targeted by a narcissist

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Show notes:

Covert narcissists are notorious for fooling people. That's where the "covert" comes in. The present themselves as sheep when, in reality, they are wolves.

To protect ourselves from predatory covert narcissists, it helps to identify common red flags. Here are 14.

Too warm, fuzzy, and friendly

Some people are excessively friendly. In fact, people with Williams Syndrome are characterized by a loving disposition.

Others (think salesman) put on a friendly mask. Narcissists do the same. They want to win your confidence.

2 Hidden past

Most of us have things in our pasts that we have said or done that, quite frankly, we wish weren't there.

A few have a sordid past of scams, arrests, and lawsuits. Not just one or a few, but many. Before you get involved with a friendly fellow (or woman) in a love relationship or business endeavor, you may want to consult court records of your county and state.

3 Have no true contrition

Covert narcissists and psychopaths are known to be re-offenders. If caught passing bad checks, they feel no remorse for their crime. Rather, they use the experience to improve their deception.

The same holds true for the way they treat you. They may, for example, borrow money and never even think of repaying. They will, however, borrow more money from you or another victim.

4 Pathological liar

People make mistakes. They may get date wrong, for example. That's not intentional deception.

Narcissists, however, can't seem to help lying, even when its not necessary. Two insidious lies to watch out for are (1) lying by omission (such as failure to mention a criminal history) or (2) living a life that is a lie; pretending to be someone they are not.

5 Super self

Watch out for wolves in sheep's clothing. Narcissists may present themselves as deeply religious, war heroes, sports superstars, or some other exaggerations that make them appear superior and desirable.

6 Masking

Everyone wears persona masks. It just good manners not to 'be yourself' in every situation.

Narcissist take is a step further. They go to great lengths to hide who they really are: Insecure and childish people who crave control of others to validate their themselves.

7 Flawless presentation

Akin to masking, narcissists present themselves as flawless. Expect narcissist to present themselves as possessing a positive self-perception, even though they know they are actually...

8 Manipulators

Narcissists seem to imagine themselves to be savvy manipulators of others. They are puppet masters and others are their puppets. And the puppets are unaware they are being played. So, in short, view themselves as social players who are top of the game.

9 Love failure

Narcissists love to see others fail. They enjoy when other get hurt.

The pain of others serves to validate their pretense of superiority.

Seldom, if ever, do narcissists admit they fail at anything.

10 Do nothing for others

Narcissists can pretend to be kind and considerate, but only when the intent is to deceive others; to win their confidence.

11 Slander others

A hallmark of toxic covert narcissistic behavior is the never-ending smear campaigns. Narcissists seem to love to turn people against each others.

When you hear a person trash-talking a third person, consider that they may also be trash-talking you.

12 Hide vibes (hard to tell)

Some people have a knack for picking up on the narcissists bad vibes. Something about them seems creepy; off. Unfortunately, empaths and Aspies find it challenging to pick up the narcissist's bad vibes. But if others sense your friend is a little off, you may consider that a possible red flag.

13 Critical and negative

Among the narcissist's wide array of "talents" is his or her ability to zero on everyone else's flaws; real but mostly imagined. In short, they can find fault in most everyone and everything.

14 Feel entitlement

Who do you know who seems to believe the world owes them food, shelter, and income? That person may be a narcissist. Beware.