Narcissism: Tricks and traps narcissists set for you

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1 Exaggeration and embellishment

Toxic covert narcissists tend to exaggerate their own abilities while intentionally diminishing your abilities. If you have the displeasure of working with a toxic narcissist, your will find this person is covertly diminishing your abilities, achievement, and accomplishments while exaggerating the value of their own. When you make a mistake, he or she will highlight it and present it others as your norm.

2 Humiliation

Toxic covert narcissists love to make you the brunt of the joke. Unlike covert exaggeration and embellishment, humiliation is displayed in public before your friends, family coworkers, and others. This is a devaluation tactic to make you appear to be worthless in comparison to themselves.

3 Disdainment

Toxic covert narcissists will hold you in contempt. They will belittle you and present you as under-qualified and incapable of achievement. Psychologists refer to this as 'infantilizing'. Infantilize is defined as, to "treat (someone) as a child or in a way which denies their maturity in age or experience."

4 Discarding boundaries

Toxic covert narcissists will test your boundaries. A shark will bump into its prey before attacking to see if there will be resistance. Narcissists don't acknowledge 'no trespassing signs' either literally or personally. All they understand is enforcement, and it can trigger resentment and outrage.

5 Emotions

Toxic covert narcissist will use your normal emotions, such as anger, fear, sorrow, and happiness as weapons against you. Your emotional responses will frequently be portrayed as inappropriate.

The narcissist will present his or her own emotions as totally appropriate, even when they are not. Narcissists, by the way, seldom display sorrow.

In so doing they present themselves as being superior to you and you inferior to them.

6 Displacement confusion

Toxic covert narcissist love to muddy the waters to hide their failures. Their shortcomings are always someone else's fault. Covert narcissists seldom accept the blame for anything. Ever.

7 Advice

Toxic covert narcissist present themselves as master advisors. You find these guys in gym where they will point out flaws in your technique, even when they have no idea what they're talking about. If you've ever tried driving with a narcissist in your vehicle, you may find yourself seemingly going insane as they complain about everything from how fast you drive, the route you take, and where and how you park.

8 Hide their history

Toxic covert narcissists will manipulate you by hiding their history; that is, by lying by omission. Narcissists are often notoriously dishonest. That leads to lawsuits and even prosecution. Many have a trail of court records they don't want you to know about.

9 Failure traps

Toxic covert narcissists don't want you to succeed. They see that as getting a leg up on them. They can't tolerate that. Imagine your are a member of an organization's board. It may be a business, church, civic organization, or whatever. You make a positive suggestion. The covert narcissist will promptly shoot it down with bothering to think about it. It's a reaction that seems to be second nature. The narcissist may then praise another person's inferior idea as a recruitment technique, to get other person on his or her team...and against you.

10 Triangulation

The triangle involves three people: The narcissist, the victim, and third person. Toxic covert narcissists create multiple triangle. The narcissist's objective is turn others against you. This marginalizes your effectiveness and isolates you from your social support system. Covert narcissists often create a large numbers of these triangles. At first, you will not realize what is happening. Eventually, you will discover that long-time friends are distancing themselves from you.

11 Demonizing by gaslighting

Toxic covert narcissists actively attempt to convince others that you are psychologically flawed. What's more, the narcissist may even attempt to convince you that you are flawed and need his or her support.

12 Role flipping

When creating a triangle, the narcissist will present you as the abusive aggressor and himself or herself as your victim. What's more, narcissist will present themselves as heroes who are putting you in your place. They recruit the third person to help spread the word, so to speak; to do their dirty work for them. The third person, then, become the narcissist's proxy, agent, or flying monkey.

Be mindful that narcissists don't succeed because they are savvy and smart. They succeed because you and others are trusting. It is that trust they exploit.