How to turn tables on narcissists / Narcissism

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HomeTurn the table on narcissists: 8 powerful strategies
Turn the table on narcissists: 8 powerful strategies


To understand how to turn the tables on narcissists, you first need to know how narcissists think; what makes them tick. Why do they behave they way they do?


Narcissists are after one thing: Food for their egos. That "food" comes from controlling others through humiliations, intimidation, abuse, gaslighting and so on.

Narcissists are defeated when you take away that thing they crave.

Here's how it's done.

1. Ignore them totally

Never mention their name to others. If you see them in public, pretend they are invisible. If they speak to you, pretend you are deaf.

Why does this work? Narcissists need your response to control you. When you ignore them, you are taking away their reins and removing your chains.

2. Feel no obligation

With few exceptions, you owe narcissists no emotional or moral obligations. When you refuse to give them emotional or moral support and supply, they have no use for you.

3. Invalidate their stories

There are two sides to every story: The truth and the untruth.

Truth is always consistent. By exposing the narcissists shenanigans, you are revealing their truth character; or lack thereof.

4. No interaction

Every interaction is an opportunity for the narcissist to exploit you. The words you speak or write cannot be used against you if you speak no words and write nothing. Narcissists will even use your body language and facial expressions against you, if given the opportunity. Small things such as putting on a coat or wiping your nose may be cited by narcissists as signs of arrogance.

5. Don't fight

Arguing with your narcissist does nothing. It may make you feel good in the moment, but when the noise dies down, you've left the narcissist with a dose of dopamine and, inevitably, he or she will be back for more.

6. See them for what they are: Children in adult bodies

Narcissists behave like children because they think like children. Small children are fixated on one word: "Mine". Once you understand your dealing with an adult with a child's outlook on life, your attitude with change the narcissist will likely pick up on that.

7. Put them on the defensive.

If you must engage with a narcissist, consider asking them directly about their childish, selfish behavior. If this is done in front of others, you have put them on the defensive. Make narcissists explain their immaturity.

8. Disengage

Narcissists prod you through the use of smear campaigns. Once the story is set straight, it's time to disengage. The narcissist will continue to prod you, but there is little reason to react or even respond. His or her childishness has been exposed and their efforts to antagonize you through an army of flying monkeys will get them nowhere.