Men, Marriage, & Gospel-Masculinity

For the last 3 weeks, the Apostle has been grabbing onto specific groups of Christians—citizens, slaves, wives—and speaking directly into the heart of their weakness. For each group, he identifies some kind of regular, common temptation for that group, then calls them to gospel-shaped living in the face of that temptation.

This morning, he does the same for Christian husbands, before he will turn in the rest of this section to address all of us together, God’s gathered church. So men, this morning our brother Peter takes us to school. He’s going to press into areas maybe we’d rather not look at. And he’s going to do it because he is for us and because he loves us.

I love pastor Douglas Jones’ definition of masculinity, that masculinity is a collection of all those characteristics which flow from delighting in and sacrificing strength for goodness. That’s precisely what we are going to aim our lives at together this morning.

Some of you are very godly men; men I would delight to tell my sons, “Imitate that guy. See the way he treats his wife? See how he provides? Do you see how that man worships the Lord? Do you see how he conducts his business? Imitate him.” I am deeply thankful to be raising sons where I can say that of many gathered here week after week. Some of you are mature, growing, humble, a good vintage of masculinity that’s been aging and rounding out for many decades in God’s wine cellar.

And some of us men are not there. Some of us come immature, not self-controlled. Some of us come this morning weighted with habitual sins, clinging immaturity, uncontrolled tongues, unchecked lusts. Many of us are ashamed of our weakness and sin and failure, even in the very areas where the Lord wants to press into this morning.

And so what I want you to know right now, up front, is that all of God’s words are freedom, that he delights to free us, that he is for you, brothers, and that he disciplines those whom he deeply loves, loves as a Brother and a Father and Savior. Listen to this, from Hebrews 2:10–15,

For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, saying,

“I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.”

And again, “I will put my trust in him.”
And again, “Behold, I and the children God has given me.”

Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.”

-Hebrews 2:10–15

Jesus is not ashamed to call you brothers. Why? Because even now, you are clean. You are justified. Jesus is not just Lord, but Justifier—we are his holy sons because of his justifying grace. And what he intends to do—did you catch this?—is to bring us to glory. To bring his sons to glory.

So that’s where this text is pointed, it’s a big compass bearing fixed on glory, and our brother is taking us there. Look with me at our text, 1 Peter 3:7,

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

-1 Peter 3:7